059 – fish story

•April 28, 2010 • 3 Comments

so i went fly-fishing last weekend with my dad and my brothers in the smoky mountains in tennessee.  it was the first ever ‘johnson family fishing tournament’ – complete with winners and prizes.  day one was an unexpected success for me, and i went into day two in second place, fishing for the win.

i thought i had a chance.

my two member team of me and my brother scott began fishing up the river, catching no fish that were big enough to keep.  as we rounded a particular bend in the river, i looked to the bank to see about 15 people eating lunch on the side of the river. i thought, ‘hey! a crowd!’ catch a fish here and they’ll love it!

no such luck.

i looked ahead to see a foot bridge ahead crossing over the river. i fished for like 30 seconds more and looked up again and there were about NINE photographers lining up on the footbridge. i’m not talking ‘hey, how do i get my point-and-shoot off video mode?’ photographers. i’m talking, ‘wait, where are they? i can’t see them around my GIANT camera.’ photographers. nine. catch a fish here and its in national geographic!

no such luck.

anything and everything that could go wrong went wrong between where i was and the bridge.  i got hung up in the trees twice.  now i’m perched on a rock in the middle of a rushing river, untangling invisible fishing line the size of a hair from a tree.  oh, hey photographers.  i get my fly untangled from the tree, and the next cast i make, my fishing rod literally falls apart in my hands.  the tip of my rod flies into the river.  now i’m thrashing around in the water trying to grab the pieces of my fly rod before they get swept downriver.  oh, hey there bridge.  i stumble back up the river, slipping on rocks, putting myself back in position to catch a monster fish, wrestle it into my net and stand triumphantly as my conquest is documented for all to see.

instead, my next step falls, not onto the bottom of the river as i expect, but into some kind of freak, underwater river hole, and i disappear.  at one moment, i’m in knee-deep water, the next i’ve somehow submerged myself in the kiddie pool.  i come back to the surface soaked, panicked, and unable to breath because freezing mountain river water has now filled up my pants.  oh, hey paparazzi.  i grab all my stuff and sat hiding underneath the bridge for like ten minutes before i came out.

and yes, they were still there.

058 – tree lamp

•February 1, 2010 • 3 Comments

so i decided last month that i needed a project.  actually i was really bored in class so i started thinking about things i would rather be doing.  for some reason, i’ve been wanting to try to make a lamp.  so i sketched out this design:

i thought i would just lay out the steps here in pictures…the last one is the finished product!  let me know what you think of it!

057 – facebook ads

•November 25, 2009 • 2 Comments

why does facebook always give me strange advertisements like this?  this may be due to the strange bands that are in my ‘favorite music’.  but really, who expects to make a living selling alabama belt buckles?  if i was actually going to buy one of these, i would totally wait until i saw a stand on the side of the road.  i want a respectable dealer with legitimate merchandise.  seriously, people…have some respect.

056 – air conditioner woes

•October 11, 2009 • 1 Comment

that may be better written ‘air conditioner woahs!‘  so i went to atlanta last weekend for Catalyst conference – it was incredible, but the night before was interesting.  so i went with a friend and we checked into our room, everything is cool.  except that it was warm.  the air conditioner didn’t work!  so we picked up the phone, called the front desk and told them.  the response was ‘yes sir, i’ll send an engineer right up.’  and engineer?  i didn’t know it was that big of a deal.  so my mind prepares itself for a short-sleeved button up, pen wearing individual to walk through the door.  while we commence to unpacking and getting comfortable, a chubby hispanic man walks in the door wearing a work shirt and a toolbelt.  engineer.  he walks in, nods, and kneels by the air conditioner, takes off the cover, and scratches his head.  he picked up his tools and left the room while muttering something about being back soon.  the door shut.  i don’t remember what i was thinking when all the sudden BOOM!  yes, the air conditioner exploded.  i’m talking loud bang and a little sizzle followed by billowing black smoke.  as a haze began to fill the room and my lungs began to get tight, in walked our engineer.  he walked in to the room, paused by the TV because i think he finally smelled the aroma of burning plastic.  he just looked at us with an inquisitive face that looked as if he almost expected us to say, “it blew up.”  we tried to put into words the terror that we had just experienced and he simply walked over to the air conditioner, and screwed it back into the wall.  then he got up to leave!  the room was still hazy with smoke, but he was just going to leave!  we asked if we could have another room and he looked a tad confused as he decided that we could go could pack up and meet him at the front desk.  through a confusing set of circumstances we finally landed another room.  the air conditioner sounded like it was digesting casper the friendly ghost all night.  awesome.

055 – what jumpsuits do in their free time

•October 11, 2009 • Leave a Comment

054 – the college kids tailgate

•August 23, 2009 • 1 Comment

053 – going green.

•August 21, 2009 • 2 Comments

last night i went and played ultimate frisbee.  i should really start reevaluating my techniques or something here, because things always happen.  maybe it’s because we play in the dark.  but last night, after playing ultimate frisbee, i thought my feet looked dirtier than they normally do.  so i walked over to the nearest streetlamp and looked at my feet.  green.  i guess they had fertilized the field or something day.  now my feet are fertilized.  and no, it did not come off in the shower last night.  awesome.

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